Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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