i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
two words...techno handjob
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
