I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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