i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
