just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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