Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I need to calm my uterus...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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