some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
