Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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