Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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