me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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