If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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