I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
