I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
