i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
