I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
