Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she told me i tasted like america
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
