Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
