I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
