Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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