My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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