there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
