I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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