Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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