Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
