Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
