this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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