why didn't you poke me back
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
