My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
