I swear god or herbie drove my car home
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
