I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
zippers are such a cool invention
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
