ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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