That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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