I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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