my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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