Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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