CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
