I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
