I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
