i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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