No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I could have mohawked her pubes.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
