that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
high people should be assigned attendants
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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