I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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