My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
