i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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