yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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