I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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