Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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