how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
