he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
