i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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