who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
