i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
if only i could text you this smell
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
