Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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