Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
