If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
