I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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